Postcards from the Center
You may have wondered where I got my scintillating writing style and gift for storytelling. I inherited it from my father. He and my stepmother recently retired and are exploring the country. Here is a sampling of my father's eye for detail and wordsmithing. For some reason, I find these hilarious. Forgive me for being evil and posting them here.
The Scoop
My bloggy friend,
lorem ipsum, was kind enough to include me in her interview post. She asked some interesting questions and I'll try to think of suitably exciting answers, although it might be hard!
1) Where the heck have you been?Living life, I guess. I plan a gala each May, which makes me anxious for several months and this year was particularly difficult. My husband was interviewing for a new job with a potential relocation. That fell through, so we started the process again and he's starting at a different company next Tuesday. No relocation necessary! All that, plus various medical tests, and I was basically working and watching bad television for the past several months.
I guess I could have written about it here, but I figured it was just normal life stuff. Extremely interesting to me, but I'm not as talented a writer as you and I don't think I could make it compelling to others.
2) What is the first book you ever remember reading?Go, Dog, Go! I remember that my mother, who worked evenings, was getting ready and I was in my bedroom pretending to read. We had read the book many times together and I was spelling out the letters and making sounds. Suddenly, the sounds became a word, then the next word, then the next. It was a revelation. I felt like I had opened a door to another part of my brain. I was 15.
Just kidding. I was 30.
3) You are a 'pop junkie,' but your tastes don't seem banal at all. What music/book/magazine/tv show is your guilty pleasure?Oh, I definitely enjoy swimming in the shallow end. Almost prefer it, actually, after putting up with the pretensions of my professors and fellow students in an ivy league graduate program. Sure, I can talk the talk when appropriate, but I will always be tickled by the absurd and the tasteless. It's a character flaw.
So, music - I love Neil Diamond and The Monkees. Davy Jones was my first crush at 5 years old, and I still remember the words to Pleasant Valley Sunday.
Books - I read trashy romance novels. Not just the greats like Catherine Coulter, Linda Howard, and Amanda Quick, but also the Harlequins by Violet Winspear. I look for bulk bags of romance novels at used book stores, buying 50 for $5, then I will spend the day on the couch with them.
TV - Actually, all I watch is bad television. Disaster shows on Discovery. The Soup. Reality shows on MTV and VH1. I reveled in Flavor of Love when it was on. Right now, I'm following Ghost Hunters on Sci Fi and Top Chef on Bravo. The SciFi channel is continuing a fine tradition of B Movies and I've been enjoying the ones based on Greek mythology for the horrible special effects and stilted acting.
4) What famous author, living or dead, would you most like to have over for dinner, and what would you serve?Goodness, there's so many. I'd like to meet Kurt Vonnegut, although I imagine he'd be a lot like Kilgore Trout in real life. Maybe Madeleine L'Engle, because she has a purity and honesty in her writing that makes me think that she's a warm and wise person. Nick Hornby because he's got a dry, cynical sense of humor and eclectic taste in music.
I'm not sure what food I'd serve, but I'd definitely try to lubricate them with alcohol.
5) You have $10 and $90 to last you for the month, to split between food and books. Does the $10 go for food, meaning you eat ramen noodles for a month but get a nice stack of books, or do you skimp on the reading material in favor of some more substantial nutrition?
I don't skip meals. It goes against my nature. I ate enough ramen to last a lifetime in art school. Thank goodness for library cards!
So that is your peek into the world of Jane. Scary, isn't it? If you're interested in being interviewed, give me a holler and I'll try to conjure some imaginative questions!
Thanks Lorem!
Blatant Theft of Meme
Thanks,
Arethusa, for this idea and for your great book suggestions. I can't stand looking at Britney Spears for one more second, so I'm going to post my version of the booklist meme as well. Yay me.
Look at the list of books below. Bold the ones you've read and own, italicize the ones you might read, capitalize the out the ones you won't, underline the ones on your book shelf, and place parentheses around the ones you've never even heard of.
THE DA VINCI CODE, DAN BROWN - er, never. Got into a discussion about this at dinner with friends last weekend and looked like a total book snob. But really. I know this book will suck.
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger The Great Gatsby - Scott F. FitzgeraldThe Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey NiffeneggerHis Dark Materials - Philip PullmanHarry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. RowlingThe Life of Pi - Yann Martel I own it but have never been able to read it.
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch 22 - Joseph HellerTHE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG AT NIGHT-TIME - MARK HADDON - I just think not.
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. RowlingOne Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur GoldenTHE KITE RUNNER - KHALED HOSSEINI
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (ugh)
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt VonnegutWuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis MIDDLE SEX - JEFFREY EUGENIES - I own it but will probably never pick it up.
(Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte(Atonement - Ian McEwan)
(The Shadow of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia PlathDUNE - FRANK HERBERT - tried several times but it's a snooze.
(Sula by Toni Morrison) - I've read a few of her books, but not this one.
COLD MOUNTAIN - CHARLES FRAZIER – most annoying end of a movie ever.
THE ALCHEMIST - PAUL COHELIO
(White Teeth by Zadie Smith)
The House of Mirth by Edith WhartonWhat titles would you add to this list?
Of Human Bondage, William Somerset Maugham
Sons and Lovers, D.H. Lawrence
The Complete Works of Saki
Einstein’s Dreams, Alan Lightman
Wicked, Geoffrey Maguire
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, Haruki Murakami
Wonder Boys, Michael Chabon
Oops she did it again
I am almost beyond coherent thought on this one. First, I was going to be flippant and say that this is exactly how I've always imagined giving birth - naked on a bear skin rug. Then I started to get pissed off.
If this sculpture is, according to the news story I heard, meant to celebrate the women who choose having a family over their careers, then why would you honor a woman who was a multi-millionaire by the time she was 18? Her decision was easy compared to the women her age who are going to school, working part-time, and trying to be a mother. Many of these women are doing it on their own, without the help of private chefs and nannies, or even without a husband. Although I think it's a stretch to think that Kevin Federline is of use to anyone, including his wife and son.
What's with the zombie-like expression on her face? No hint of personality or intelligence. Wait...it IS supposed to be Britney. So maybe that's alright.
And the most disturbing thing about this sculpture - has anyone seen it from BEHIND? Art shouldn't make you slightly nauseous when you contemplate seeing it from a different perspective. But maybe that's just me.
Ok. I might be cranky and taking it out on the hapless Britney Spears. I think I hurt my back during a medical test a few weeks ago, and the aches kept me awake last night. I tell myself I'm imagining it during the day, but when the pain wakes you up at 2:30 and you can't get back to sleep, perhaps it's time to take it seriously.
Grrrr.
Just remember Jane, the sun is shining. Spring has sprung. Daffodils are blooming. Forsythia are waving their joyous little branches in the breeze. It's a good time to be alive. Right? Now get yourself some caffeine and start working.
Bye for now!
New Media
We stopped at a bookstore after dinner on Friday, which had its fun moments. Just when I think I've forever passed on to the side of matronly, some stranger tries to pick me up in the science fiction section. He seemed like a nice guy and I thought he was just making conversation until my husband breezed by with an obnoxious smirk on his face. He didn't stop - just rolled by like a freight train and slammed a book into my hand - leaving an awkward silence in his wake. The stranger and I just stared at each other for a few seconds until I thanked him for his suggestions and moved to the next aisle. We avoided making eye contact after that. Thank you for your suggestions, strange SciFi Man.
He suggested China Mieville's
Perdido Street Station and
The Scar. I'd already picked them up because of their covers, and he gave me a glowing recommendation. I've not read enough to give a full report, but I am enjoying the dense, rich prose and unique, dark world.
On my very own, I picked up
The Children's Blizzard by David Laskin, indulging my morbid fascination with natural disasters. Like most books of this sort, this is an easy, fast read. But the story is amazing. In January 1888, one of the worst blizzards in the history of the US hit the praries of the Dakotas, Kansas and Nebraska. It was a fast storm, moving 60 mph, and what made it particularly lethal was that it hit on the first balmy morning after a severe cold spell. The day started at 20 degrees, and by the time school was dismissed, the storm hit and left many of children stranded on their way home. One record shows that the temperature dropped 18 degrees in three minutes, eventually falling to a windchill of 40 below that night. You can imagine that many of these children had traveled to school that day in their lightweight coats, not to mention the farmers who were probably working their fields in their shirtsleeves. It is called the Children's Blizzard because many of the fatalities were schoolchildren.
Also noteworthy was the snow. Because the temperature was exceedingly cold within the storm, the snow was the texture of fine sand, getting into every crack and crevice and reducing visibility so that people could not see their hands in front of their faces, even if their eyes weren't frozen over.
This book underscores the harshness of life on the prairie for settlers. Grasshoppers descending like locusts and eating an entire crop in minutes, prairie fires that spread across thousands of acres, and the crippling isolation. For any of you who have read Laura Ingalls Wilder, I would recommend this book as well.
Ahem....
Well, hello there. Long time, no see. I've been uninterested in blogging recently. No, no, it's not you. It's me. I'm just not ready to commit to a clear focus with my blog. This type of hodge podge makes for poor reading, in my opinion. And it's not fair to you, reader. You deserve much better. So I'm setting you free and I hope that one day you'll find a blogger that can give you what you need.
In the meantime, I shall continue in my search for the perfect escapism material. You should know that I've surrendered to the dumbing down of America. I'm proud to say that I may have lost 10 IQ points this year through my television intake alone. This is without the aid of liquor, people! It has been a while since I've catalogued my media intake, so here are my current guilty pleasures.
1.
Digital Devil Saga 1 and 2 - Who can fight the lure of a woman whose demon form has fanged mouths on her breasts? Or a hero who doesn't speak? I love the strong, silent type. Seriously, this is a great RPG series with a convoluted story that would make the writers of the X-Files proud. It's also long, which is excellent since I've developed a genius plan that incorporates playing a game with my workout. I can run around for an hour, powering up, whilst on the elliptical. Keeps boredom at bay on both fronts! I'm so smart that I scare myself.
2.
Lost - I know, I'm a bit slow on the uptake. The husband and I have decided to spend
quality time together by watching Lost. Yeah, laugh all you want but you'll see what happens when you've been with your partner for 16 years. It's a great excuse for cuddling. We're about half-way through the first season and the show's lived up to the hype so far. But I have to wonder where all the ugly people went. How likely is it that a plan would have that many attractive people on it? Is that revealed in season two?
3.
The Flavor of Love- Since Tyra turned into a psycho drama queen, and not in a good way, I have filled the void left from America's Top Model with The Flavor of Love. What can I say about The Flavor of Love except that its appeal is the lack of any redeeming qualities? A bunch of video vixens fighting for the love of that luscious piece of manmeat - Flava Flav - by frying him chicken and hanging out at a retirement community. And the winner of the competition gets to go on a date with him to Red Lobster. Red Lobster! Could television sink lower? I don't know, but I'm watching until it hits rock bottom. The cost of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Reading:1.
Dies the Fire, R.M. Stirling - post-apocalyptic fantasy novel about a world without electricity, and the Ren Faire geeks who rise to power in their respective tribes. I wouldn't recommend this book unless you think that the mock swordplay during Ren Faire tournies could conceivably be useful when End Times arrive.
Listening:I've been revisiting Bauhaus and the Old 97's, but am enjoying newer bands like My Morning Jacket, Spoon, and the Kaiser Chiefs. I would say that the biggest disappointments this year were Sufjan Stevens and Death Cab for Cutie. Both were put into my "overly self-conscious and pretentious singer/songwriters with penchants for painfully unclever song titles." To wit, Stevens'
Come On! Feel The Illinoise!: Part I: The World's Columbian Exposition/Part II: Carl Sandburg Visits Me In A Dream.
I mean, isn't it bad enough that you have vowed to make an album for each of the 50 states? Isn't that both overly ambitious and, well, a bit childish? I can appreciate wanting to be prolific, but with 22 songs on an album, I think perhaps you should embrace the idea of self-editing.
Speaking of self-editing, I must do the work they pay me for. Those bastards. Don't they know that I'm a goddamn genius? So, until the MacArthur Foundation chooses me, I must bow down to The Man. Back to the grind. Wish me luck.
Blogging, schmogging
I'm not that interesting. Really.
